The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton; Catherine A. Liszt

Author:Dossie Easton; Catherine A. Liszt
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: &NEW, Sexual Instruction, Psychology, Sexual Ethics, Sex, United States, Human Sexuality, Self-Help, Non-Monogamous Relationships, Free Love
ISBN: 9781890159016
Publisher: Greenery Press
Published: 1997-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

PART III SLUTS IN THE WORLD

CHAPTER 1. A SLUT'S-EYE VIEW

From the slut's point of view, the world is sometimes a dangerous place. Lots of people seem to think it is okay to go to any lengths to stop us from being sexual. Some anti-sex crusaders try to make loving dangerous for women by outlawing birth control and abortion, leading to unwanted pregnancies and back-alley medical care. Others would outlaw access to sex information, in schools or on the Internet, so that our children cannot learn to care for their health and well-being, and have no access to safer sex training that would teach them how to avoid spreading AIDS. Some people purporting to have the word from God preach on the public airwaves that AIDS is a just punishment for any sexuality that deviates from what these self-proclaimed godly folk believe is normal. We find this truly obscene.

There are places where some people believe that being a slut makes you fair game for violence. Why were you walking down that street at night in a short dress, or tight pants? No wonder you got raped, or assaulted. Must be the victim's fault. And you look so queer no wonder that gang decided to beat you up.

We are also considered fair game for other forms of oppression.

Multiple sexual partners can be seen as a good excuse to take all of your property, your children and your future income in a punitive divorce settlement. And dont forget to keep your social life a secret on the job.

You could lose your job, or your promise for advancement, or your professional reputation, if you share your personal life with the wrong person.

judging ourselves

We hope this examination of the dangers of sluttery will lead you to ask yourself some questions. What is my experience of oppression and how does it affect me? Who do I have to lie to in my life? How does this affect me? What are my closets? And as you look deeper, you might ask yourself: what assumptions have I made about how my sexuality should be? Do I have judgments about what "good" and "nice" people do that I wind up turning against myself?

When we judge ourselves by cultural values imposed from the outside, when women believe they ought to be small and quiet, when gay people believe that their sexual choice is a neurosis, or when we all believe we would be better people if we were able to be monogamous, this is internalized oppression. When we apply these unfair judgments to other people who are like us, when we see our friends as too slutty or too free, this is called horizontal hostility. We suggest you look through the preceding section on myths, stereotypes and oppression as a checklist, to see where your own beliefs that you learned in our sex negative culture might be getting in your way.

sanctions against sluts

Those of us who choose to run our lives and loves in an unconventional manner should probably be prepared for the fact that many parts of the world will not welcome us with open arms.

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